Empty

By this time we are crazily in love but could only see each other once in such a long while.

I don't know how I can survive considering now I cannot see him for some more time. I just pretend that i can be happy without him. i can enjoy myself with family and friends. but deep down in my heart..i am missing him.

It was beginning to feel very stranged... What is going to happen? Does he realize that i am now depending on him but no one else? Does he knows that there's another people is challenging him now? When will he be ready ? What is going to happen to our future?

With all these uncertainties, we could only continue our hope and go forward with faith that everything will turn out fine.

I am actually missing him now... just bare with me.

Can't remember

Last night i found a blog which attracted me. so, i followed the blog. but now i cant find it. i dont remember the blog name or even the owner name. i went through my blog list that i follow, but still i can't find it. I feel like having a short term loss.

I cant really sleep actually. its 4am already...lucky tomorrow is sunday. wish that i have someone singing a lullaby for me so i would fall asleep. Ahaa..

So, I am listening to this beautiful piece. if you listen to it carefully, it can remind you of a movie.

Update : I've found the blog. yeyyy. And you cant remember which movie using the above? Its TWILIGHT.

Good night note

Yesterday, kevin ada call dalam pukul 1 pagi...

Masa tu saya dah tidur. Tapi bila dengar dia excited nak cerita tentang krismas kat sana saya pun layan dia bercerita. sampai kena bangun minum air sebab tahan mengantuk. dia cerita tentang apa yang mummy dia masakkan dan siapa yang ada kat rumah dia. Apa yang mereka buat. Hadiah apa yang dia dapat. Then lepas tu juga saya tanya dia kenapa dia call saya sedangkan dia ada family yang tengah happy celebrate krismas. He should join them. Tapi dia jawab yang mereka semua tengah minum...minum alkohol. Jadi dia cuba elakkan diri dari minum dengan call saya.

Then i asked him, how are you going to avoid those things another time?

Dia kata dia akan cuba. And he has not drink for almost a year already.

I have to believe in him.

I dont know how hard it is to quit drinking. But people can change for better.

Just now when i spring cleaning my e-mail. hate junk email. saya jumpa satu email yang my dad hantar untuk saya few years ago...masa saya cakap dengan dia saya tak akan percaya lelaki lagi (Masa tu tengah frust ok)

It goes like this

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two


Thanks papa. At least i can sleep well tonight to read that... Good night..

Nom nom nom

Pergi Giant pukul 9 pagi sebab malam tadi mimpi nak makan strawberry pie. So kena beli strawberry.

Sampai di Giant pukul 9 pagi dengan penuh semangat tanpa mengetahui Giant hanya dibuka pukul 9.30pagi. Ketuk2 cermin Giant dan security tunjuk kat jam cakap belum buka lagi. Fine.
Lepak2 dalam kereta dengan Iman sambil dengar dan nyanyi lagu DOWN selama 1/2 jam. sampai dah hafal lirik.

Tanpa bantuan sesiapa saya masak so saya nak masukkan resepi ni dalam cafeworld. sebab rasa nya sangat sedap. =P






Saya potong 8 bahagian utk 7 orang penghuni rumah ini. So saya dapat 2 bahagian.

Nom nom nom nom....

Merry Christmas Kevin

I just called kevin to wish him Merry Christmas.

They just had the Christmas eve dinner. I could hear the background noise.
A happiness noise. With his parents and all his brothers and sisters. And also nieces and nephews.

And he sounds happy too...hope they'll have a warm and joy filled Christmas.



Merry Christmas to everyone who is celebrating

Parcel from Austria

I went to Pan Global this morning to send a document to a client. Nil asked me to go since he said that I nampak macam bosan gile berada dalam ofis. Memang pun. Kalau lah dia tahu perasaan saya…

Bukannya tak suka kat sini. Tapi bila macam tak ada kerja nak buat, masa berjalan menjadi terlalu lambat. Kalau racing dgn siput babi mesti siput babi akan menang. Kalau ada kerja tu lagi best rasanya sebab tiba2 saja tengok jam dah lunch hour. Lepas masuk lunch tengok2 jam dah dekat pukul 5. Kalau nil busy dia pun tak sempat nk bagi atau cari kerja2 yang boleh saya buat. Selebihnya saya akan menepek dekat lily. Tengok dia buat apa. Gosip2 dengan dia. She is so fun. Selalu buat joke.

Yesterday we received a parcel from Austria. Grandpa sent Christmas presents for us. I thought that we are supposed to send present for them. But anyway he may want to show his love to us. This never happened before. I called ijoy and they received a parcel as well. I got a bangle. Adik2 dapat clothes and chocolates. Mama dapat a necklace and papa got a briefcase. Papa called grandpa immediately. He sounds sad. Maybe papa sangat rindukan grandpa Cuma dia tak tunjukkan kat kami. It’s a really hard time untuk membesar tanpa seorang ayah di sisi. Tapi kasih sayang tu tak akan hilang dari hati.

And this morning when we had our breakfast papa ada cakap mungkin kami akan pergi melawat grandpa soon. Sementara masih cuti sekolah. Pergi Austria? Never been there. Happynya kalau dapat pergi. I guess that im entitled for some leave during my practical. Nak kena tanya Nil ni.

Wuhuu

How to strike the word in your entry

Especially for Carl the newly wed =) hehe

you type like this


Got it?

Im not a good teacherrr...haha

Now strike strike strike everything you hate

Jingle all the way

I feel very unsettled now. Here half way there half way. So bitchy busy today. ;)

I did not have my breakfast today and my stomach is growling now. People here want to have lunch together at MidV as one of the staff is going to resign. It’s a farewell lunch. So, I guess I have to join them. Tak nak nanti dikatanya kera sumbang. Tak nak bergaul dengan orang pulak.
Actually saya dah rapat dengan beberapa staff kat sini. Besides my crazy supervisor, Nil. Saya suka kawan dengan seorang staff ni. Nama dia Lily. She is or he is …ehmmm…in easier way, dia seorang lelaki but totally dressed and behave like perempuan. She is very nice, kind hearted dan lemah lembut. No offenses as I always like lelaki lembut. Senang dibuat kawan sebb jiwa mereka lebih lembut dan penyayang. Lebih polite. Dah jiwa mereka begitu nak buat macamana kan. Its unfair for us to judge them. We are not in their shoes.

So, always now I refer to lily. Kejap2 panggil lily, kejap2 lily. Sampai nil cakap, “awak ni asyik lily, lily aje” Hehe.

I called kevin yesterday, he is not feeling well. Demam for 2 days already. He said demam rindu sebab he kept thinking of me. With the christmas in 2 days I hope he will recover soon and enjoy the celebration with his family. He bought presents from KL the other day for the parents and nieces and nephews. Kevin said there will be minum2 tuak on Christmas night and they will be mabuk2. I cant say that you don’t drink. Let he think himself. For me, he can do whatever he is practising and doing now. But when he really have the heart and prepare to convert, he must leave everything behind.

Am I being fair enough?