Some one is asking. What was kevin’s reaction when I gave him that baju melayu at the airport.
At that time, flight dah nak berlepas. I was at the gate to departure hall. About to say bye bye.
I said “ I have something for you”
Baju melayu tu saya dah bungkus dengan kertas balut hadiah warna pink. Sangat sweet wpun bukan warna untuk orang lelaki. Saya tak kira. Asalkan sweet.
Dan baju melayu itu warna biru lembut. saya cari sampai berpeluh dan bila jumpa betul-betul yang saya suka, baru saya beli.
Then he said “Apa ni?”
I said “Satu hari nanti I nak tengok you pakai okey”
He hold my hand and looked at me without saying a word. Then I walked in and we waved to each other.... with tears in my heart.
Saya ada selit satu poem dalam bungkusan tu.
Kevin,
You are more than just a friend
You are someone who I love and would till the end
When you said "For you I’ll fight" that's the day you steal my heart
To this day I wonder why?
When I think about you, it brings tears to my eyes
I just want you to remember all the fun times we had together
and how we said we would be together for ever and ever
I will love You
With my every breath,
With all I have left,
From the deepest depths
Dan bila saya sampai kat KLIA, saya terima sms
*Dear, I don’t know what to say. Thanks a lot for baju melayu. Cantik. I suka sgt. It means a lot.. And thanks for your love to me. I love you too*
Keep sane !
Alright. I'm talking to myself. I shouldn't be even writting this in the first place... He has already feel insecure... I knew I had a lot of explanation to do later. But i want to write what I had in my mind after all this is what my blog is about. It's about my crappy thoughts and crazy things that is happening in my life.
I needed to pour it out somewhere I guess in a way people that reads my blog knows me better.
Saya selamat sampai kk malam tadi. Kevin jemput saya dan yaya. Cuma dia terlambat sikit. tak macam biasa kalau saya sampai, dia dah lama sampai. Sebabnya bapa saudara dia masuk wad. Kt queen elizabeth. Dia kena transfer mak ayah dan saudara ke rumah dan ke hospital. Sebab tu delay. Kevin cakap mak dia pun ada tanya siapa yang penting sangat dia nak ambil kat airport sampai terkejar2 begitu. Saya tak tahu lah apa yang kevin jawab. Dia tak cakap pulak apa jawapan dia.
Hari ni dah masuk kuliah jam 8am. Malas sampai kena heret kaki ke kampus. Kereta kawan saya dah hantarkan malam tadi. Tapi malas nak drive boleh? Tumpang Shera saja ke kampus. Dan balik tadi kevin hantarkan. Before that we had lunch. I had talapia goreng. Dengan sambal goreng dan nasi panas. Saya rasa tokey kedai tu orang semenanjung la. Sometimes talapia ada bau yang saya tk boleh makan. Tapi yang tadi tak ada bau sangat so saya boleh makan.
I passed chocolate cake kat kevin. Yang mama bekalkan untuk saya. Very teruk punya daughter. Mama susah payah buat kek tu tapi saya bagi kevin. Tak apa, kevin akan appreciate dan menikmati kek itu. Sorry mama sayang. I just love him. =)
Sekarang saya tengah pening fikir mana nak apply praktikal saya nanti.
Adakah di KK?
Adakah di KL?
Adakah di negeri lain?
Seronok juga kalau dapat praktikal kat negeri lain. Tempat orang boleh dapat pengalaman baru. Kenal orang-orang baru.
One of my weird hobbies. Listening to the National Anthem. Bukan murtad dengan Negaraku. Tapi saya suka dengar sebab melodi nya macam full of spirit.
So, who do you think delivered the best?
I would go for Demi Lovato!
Cekidautt
Guess today is the last day of my raya this year.
Pagi-pagi tadi Sidd call. Ajak pergi open house kawan dia hari ni. But i have to say no coz we already prepared to go to papa's friend's open house at Keramat. Kami pergi Keramat dalam pukul 11 pagi.
Oh story about sidd dulu. Sidd datang beraya rumah saya on the 2nd day of raya. Mama suka la bila sidd datang. I know she likes him very much. LOL
And 3rd day of raya he came by again. i was just about to say, "Eh bukan ke awak dah datang raya semalam?" Haha. But he just wanted to fetch me to his house at Klang. Okeylah since he was already infront of my house. Tapi tak nak nampak sangat pelik, i dragged Iman sama pergi rumah Sidd. Walaupun saya dah kenal parents & family dia masih rasa janggal kalau pergi sorang-sorang sebab dedulu we all used to be in group. Where's everybody now?
But i like rendang daging yang mama sidd kirimkan untuk mama saya. Sebenarnya saya yang makan. Hehehe.
Talking about the open house today, ramai sangat orang saya tak tahan. sebab dia buat kat khemah depan rumah. it was so hot made my siblings pun tak nak makan-makan sangat. actually we all dah terlalu overdose with raya food. thats whyyy... only about 1/2 hour then we made face supaya papa faham. Haha.
I miss my tshirt & jeans ! Dah seminggu pakai baju kurung dan kebaya saja. Letih kena acting ayu. [@-@]"
I need to pack my things tonight. My flight esok malam to KK. Balik dengan Yaya. Yaya tak sempat datang beraya tapi dia akan dtg esok dan pergi airport sama-sama.
Walaupun raya, saya masih tak lupa orang tersayang di KK. I miss him so much. I was keeping myself busy so I could forget about him. but Kevin called me everyday. He wish that he could celebrate raya with me. Dan dia lagi frust Sidd dapat datang raya kat rumah saya. I know how he feels. Seriously I'm a bit coo-koo already...
To my dear : Hope you feel much much better and recover from whatever you are thinking... I love you
I like this song. Not her best, but i still like it. Try to listen 2,3 times, you will find the soul of this song.
Emmm..who cares if you dont like Miley !
Har Har Har
I couldn't sleep.
I'm a worried-freak. Worrying about something. It's like my obsessive nature. I can't seems to stop worrying for people I love. I just hate it when my worries become a burden and turn to stress... then there goes sleepless nights.
Then, i switched on the lights and looking for my fav DVD. Little Black Book. Tapi tak jumpa. Tapi saya rasa ada kat rumah ni...di mana ya.
While searching, my phone rang.
"Hello girl next door. Kenapa tak tidur lagi?"
Noa could see my room with my light still on. So, we had a chat for almost 2 hours. Until 3am.
Apparently, he got a lot of close girl friends... lucky I'm not around him haha... if not I might get extremely jealous... well yeah... I'm still surprise why he has no girlfriend yet. He is not bad looking. In fact, I find him rather cute haha... His childish side is probably because he is the youngest in the family and the only boy in the family and he got so so so so many sisters.
We talked about love life. But as an ex, im happy for him for what he is doing or who is he having as a girlfriend.
As for now, he knows about kevin and I. jadi dia banyak bagi nasihat untuk saya supaya saya lebih matang dalam hubungan dengan kevin. He said that we were so childish in our last relationship. that was why it didnt last longer. I admit it.
Anyway, i feel glad after talking to him. At least i have another supporter.
Good night...got to go to bed now.
How's your hari raya? I bet you had a good one !
My raya? I would say --- hectic. but in a good way laaa...
Like papa said, raya is the time for family and friends. saudara dekat dan jauh. Yang selalunya kita tidak selalu berhubungan pada hari-hari biasa. so dont give excuses not to visit them. Visiting a lots lots of houses since the day 1. Till now just came back from papa's secretary's open house kat Damansara. Esok ada lagi open house. [@-@]"
Saya dah makan banyak makanan sedap-sedap raya kali ni. I had nasi dagang, rendang, ketupat, nasi himpit, nasi minyak, laksa pahang, soto, sate, kek dan biskut raya.
OMG
but still enjoyed them. All of them.
Ke airport sekejap lagi.
Kapal terbang, mesti jalan laju2 ye. tak sabar nak balik rumah. =)
Salam aidilfitri. Maaf zahir & batin
Suka dengar lagu-lagu dia. Sweet and calming voice. Kalau dengar tengah-tengah malam rasa rileks je.
Petang ni berbuka dengan Sidd. Dia dah ajak banyak kali tapi selalu cakap buzy sebab rasa macam malas je. Tapi tkpelah hari ni macam rasa nak jumpa dia pulak. Last sebelum dia balik KL pagi esok. Raya ni dia kata nak datang beraya kt rumah. Padahal jumpa hari raya pun boleh kan. Saja je lah dia tu.
Emmm…what else… Oh! ye. esok nak bagi baju melayu kevin sebelum bertolak kat airport. Agak-agak romantik tak kalau macam tu? Hehe =P
Dr., batalkan je kuliah esok. Mesti tak ada orang datang punyaaa....
Call mama semalam. Mama macam sibuk je. Nak buat itu ini. Kalau saya ada saya boleh tolong. Nak hantar cuci carpet, nak dry clean baju-baju raya, nak gantung kad-kad raya. Gantung kad raya satu kemestian. Every year mesti nak buat. We all akan cari ranting kayu yang besar-besar, ala-ala pokok mati tu. Lepas tu cat ranting tu dan letak dalam pasu. Lepas tu gantung kad raya. Tak ada la feeling pokok krismas…. Cuma suka sebab nampak comelll je. Masa kecik dulu bila kawan-kawan datang tengok terus kita tanya “Rumah awak ada?” dengan berlagaknya. Bangga weh sebab kami buat sendiri. =D
Biasa nya kad raya tu dari office papa, kawan-kawan mama…kawan-kawan saya? Semua e-card or SMS saja. Macamana nak gantung?
Noni : Kakak, noni dah hantar kad raya utk kakak semalam. Nanti baca ye.
Saya : Ye ke? Noni pakai alamat mana?
Noni : bvlgarigirl09@yahoo.com
?????????????????
Rindu nak dapat kad raya macam dulu-dulu sekolah rendah. Mintak duit dgn papa nak beli kad raya. Kawan-kawan pun ada jugak jual kad raya. 20sen, 30 sen sekeping. Paling suka kad raya ada gambar kucing. Motif kad raya gambar kucing? Sesama kawan yang satu kelas pun bagi kad raya jugak walaupun boleh wish secara live. Lepas tu bagi kat semua cikgu…kadang-kadang termasuk cikgu bangsa cina dan india sekali.
I miss the moment. Miss the traditional kad raya.
Tapi saya dah hantar kad raya muzik ke rumah. (Nak muzik jugakkk…). So bila balik rumah nanti boleh baca kad raya saya.
Slownye nak download Naruto ……nak tengok series online ni memang susah sikit. Depends la, kalau server laju, 3,4 episod tu cantik je mengadap tanpa masalah. Tapi kalau dah slow tu…haihh…berjam-jam menunggu, lagi baik lumba lari ngan cicak. Bosan.
Ada 3 assignments nk kena siapkan. Dah kena remind nak hantar sebelum cuti raya. Ms Hayati yang comel itupun macam tk berperikemanusiaan jugak. Dan dan tu la anti ngan tutor feveret sebab semua nak assignment siap sebelum raya.
Weekend saya buat apa? Tak ada buat apa-apa cuma sabtu malam temankan kevin pergi rumah kawan dia. Ada jamuan tanglung. Bukan jamuan tanglung makan tanglung ye. Tapi gantung2 tanglung. I thought pesta tanglung tu only after chinese new year saja. rupanya tidak. tak pasti pulak apa keraiannya.
Jeff kawan kevin masa sekolah. He is chinese. Ramai betul kawan-kawan dia. And a lots of food. Mee la, ayam goreng la, sup la. Tapi saya minum air kotak dan makan snek2 dan kacang2 sajalah. Kevin pun tak makan sebab saya tak makan. Saya suruh dia makan tapi dia sendiri yang tak mahu. So, lepas balik dari sana mencarilah kedai makan sebab dah lapar.
Then on Sunday sehari suntuk saya mengadap laptop kakmin buat kerja. Alone at home. Rasa sunyi je tapi kuatkan hati nak siapkan kerja yg tertangguh sebab laptop rosak tu. Online pun tidak. sangat disiplin kannnn… saya takut kalau dah online tu mmg tak boleh nak stop2 dah. Blog la, facebook la, youtube la, games la…sungguh best la internet ni. I cant live without internet. Seriously ….!!! [@-@]”
Hari ni tak ada kelas. pagi2 pergi ambik laptop. Dah siap. Horey! Horey!. Semua file selamat. Rindunye ngan lappy I ni. Mmuah mmuah..
Boleh sambung my Restaurant City. =)
Bermula dengan senyuman
Bicara mesra
Ku sangka kawan
Rupanya cinta
Ku sedar dunia
Kita berbeza
Tapi kau sedia
Terima segala
C/O
Kutulis namamu di langit tinggi
Awan berarak menyapu pergi
Kutulis namamu di pasir pantai
Laut menghempas membawa pergi
Lalu kutulis di dalam hati
Semoga ia kekal abadi
Tuhan tolonglah
Restui cinta
Untuk kami
Kekal bahagia
Ciptaan : Wanpok @ Cats Do Cry band
Lirik : Arianna
****************
Hye..My laptop masuk air. Kena servis ke, kena apa ke tak tahu la tu. Tak boleh on. So, tak boleh siapkan kerja. Hopefully semua file tak hilang. The most important is all the pictures. Isk isk. Semua dalam tu since last year. Risau-risau.
Tengahari ni nak pergi servis.
I’m using kevin’s laptop to go online sekejap. Dia tengah kerja kt library. Satu perkara kena ingat. DELETE HISTORY lepas ni. Supaya dia tk dapat kesan bvlgarigirl.blogspot.com.
Kalau dia baca. Im dead! Dead.
Semalam satu apa lecture pun tk masuk dalam kepala. My mind went everywhere. Every hour I texted Yaya just to make sure she is fine. Takutlah dia buat something tak masuk akal nanti kan. She arrived safely. Still sad. Can tell from her voice.
But her sister called me asking why is she home earlier than our holiday which is supposed to start only the end of next week. Saya tergagap-gagap nak jawab. Tapi berjaya menipu. Cakap yaya dah habis kelas. Ada ke istilah menipu sunat? Kalau tak ada, kurang pahala puasa semalam.
Lepas tu tipu lecturer LAGI cakap Yaya ada family emergency kena balik kampung. Harap yaya tak kena apa-apa or ortherwise repeat paper lagi. One thing that we really try to avoid. Repeat paper means belajar semula dengan junior. Oh no!
I tried to see Norman yesterday. Tapi dia cakap dia full lecture. Malam dia ada hal. Whatever la. Maybe he is trying to avoid me? Just want to seek the truth. I hate a liar! Apatah lagi KASANOVA. So saya akan kejar dia wpun dia lari ke laut.
Im not able to reply to each comment now. Try to do it later ye. Tapi thanks semua. Really appreciate your concern. Kalau yaya tahu dia pun ada ramai org concern dengan dia, sure she will be better.
See Kevin dah punch card out. Got to go.
Ok, DELETE HISTORY sekarang. Nasib baik tak lupa [@-@]”
She has left.
Yaya ni degil jugak. Tak nak dengar saya nasihat. Tried to stop her but she just could not control her emotion.
Ini kali pertama dia frust bercinta. I know how she feels. I felt it before. Pity her. Saya tak nak campur pun tercampur jugak.
Saya ajak dia berbuka kat luar sebelum hantar dia ke airport. We sungkai at a restaurant nearby the airport. Cuba nak dengar cerita dia. And she told me everything. She found out that Norman is dating another girl. WTF. Im pissed off. They had been together recently and Yaya is so deeply in love with him. I don’t blame her sebab Norman tu sangat caring dan pandai jaga hati dia.
Masa tengah cerita dengan Yaya, Norman call. Dia cari Yaya. I asked him to come over apun yaya tak nak jumpa dia. I want him to settle everything and don’t let yaya go with a broken heart.
Norman came when we were already at the airport. And they had a quarrel. Fight. I back off sebab they are so adult to settle themselves. At that time Kevin called me so I had to tell him the story. Kevin pulak datang. Then we tried to calm them down.
Yaya called it off. They broke off.
I cried with Yaya when we hugged each other at the departure hall. I could feel her pain. If I were her I could have left also. Can’t bear to see someone who had stabbed your heart. At least not in few weeks until … I don’t know also until when. Kalau dia cepat recover okeylah.
IT’S HURT. Some more dekat-dekat nak raya ni.
Kevin and I ended up talking to each other. Dia dalam kereta dia, saya dalam kereta saya on the phone sampai dekat 1 jam before we left the airport. As I was really mad at Norman. Felt like slapping him on the face ! GERAM.
I don’t know the truth. But still Im really mad of this Norman. Saya akan cari dia hari ni nak cakap dengan dia.
Im full with lecture today tapi sempat menaip entry ni sebab nak lepaskan geram.
Dah 3 hari saya tengok Yaya asyik termenung saja. Nampak macam ada problem. Saya ada tanya dia tapi dia cakap dia okey.
Tapi pagi tadi masa nak keluar ke kampus I saw her crying on the phone. Then dia cakap dia nak pergi kampus dgn saya. Sebelum ni Norman selalu ambil dia. On the way tu saya cuba tanya dia kalau kalau dia nak cerita dengan saya. Tapi dia macam tak nak cerita je. So don’t want to push her. Maybe she needs some times or courage to tell the story.
But just now I received her SMS saying that dia nak balik kampung. Minta tolong saya hantar ke airport malam ni.
I guess she is having problem with Norman. Should I approach Norman to ask about this… As a friend Im concern about her. Tapi tak nak pula Norman cakap saya bz body.
Actually saya nak keluar berbuka dengan the stewardess girlfriends kat KK hari ni and then we want to watch Final Destination. I have to cancel that now. Tak kisah la, kesian dengan Yaya as I think she needs me more.
Auzubillahiminassyaitonirrajim
Kata orang bulan Ramadhan yang mulia ni tak ada hantu syaitonn. Tapi rasanya masih banyak yang berkeliaran mencari mangsa.
Kenapalah sesama manusia nak berhasad dengki, nak kutuk mengutuk, mengata, mengumpat, mengeji.
Blog ni adalah bebas. Open. Kalau suka, baca. Kalau tak suka get out. Kenapa baca lepas tu nak kutuk-kutuk? Fine if you have the point nak bagi nasihat ke pandangan kee… but don’t go over the limit which can make one lose his/her rag.
Come on!!!..................
Tak ada chatbox, kata susah nak berinteraksi, bila dah ada, jadi tempat bermaki maki. Haihh...
You like when people lose her temper, annoyed and tense. So that you can clap your hand. What do you get at the end of the day?
Satisfaction over people’s grieve? OMG.
Kudos to my fellow blogger friends CEERA and ZACK U !
Sepatutnya berbuka dengan kevin hari ni. I plan nk belanja dia makan since he always belanja me…
Tapi dia bgtahu dia tak dapat temankan saya sebab dia ada kerja nak disiapkan. Esok kena hantar assignment dan laptop dia buat hal, semua setting dah lari so he has to fix it. Ohhh bosannye. Harap yaya dan kakmin ada sama lah utk berbuka. Kalau tak ada maknanya saya sendirian…makan kurma, minum milo, nangis, makan nasi.
Kalau berbuka di rumah mesti kuih pun dah separuh meja…belum campur lauk pauk. Mana taknye selera masing-masing berbeza. Mama nak makan cream caramel, papa pengat pisang, adif kek coklat, iman bubur caca, noni agar-agar. Kadang-kadang air pun berbagai jenis. Air tebu, air soya, air bandung…itu baru 7 orang berbuka. Tak dapat bayangkan kalau yang ramai adik beradik sampai 10, 12 orang tu…oiii seronoknyeee…nak-nak time semua dah balik kampung hari terakhir puasa tu.
Dah dah…
Semalam satu hari kat kundasang. Fieldwork tu. Pergi 2 kereta. Harold, Jenny, Monica, Bibi and I were in the same car. Bertolak awal-awal pagi kononnya supaya boleh balik awal sebelum berbuka. Tapi you know bila kita kena ambil bacaan kualiti udara, bunyi, air dan bla bla..it takes time. Somehow the equipment pulak ada yang tak kena. Someone didn’t check properly before took it from the lab. Messed up everything. Took the whole day there!
Berbuka tengah jalan. Penat penat. But I sempat lagi borong tomato cherry! That’s the only thing Im happy with the trip. Hahaaa…
Ohhh..what do I do noww…
Want to take a nap for a while…before decide nak keluar beli makanan or masak.
Lapar….ngantuk…zzzzzz
Papa always ada instinct je. Bila saya kekurangan duit dia macam tahu-tahu dan akan tanya sama ada saya nak duit. Sometimes saya cakap saya masih ada duit even masa tu nyawa-nyawa ikan dah. Sumpah sangat mulia hati saya!. =P
Kalau papa tahu mesti dia cakap “Im proud of you girl!”
But when it comes to money, as a student we know the situation. Yaya and I always understand each other. I don’t mind lending her money as well as her. Most of the time we cover up each other. Senang sama senang, susah sama susah wooo.
Kalau wak makan magi, wa pun makan magi.
Thank God that I work part time as the librarian, otherwise ill be always asking money from my dad. May salary can cover the etc expenses like CD’s, RCH, movies, magazines, jalan-jalan and what not. So saya tak akan rasa bersalah sangat spending the money.
Motif entry ni : Hari ni dapat cek gaji =P
Now im using another phone number under Digi.
As I got the simcard + a phone also yesterday.
So we can text2 and talk2 without worrying about the bill.
We have agreed to not to add FINDER service.
Actually I agreed MOST.
I’m happy !
I don’t like to be found.
Hehehee…
You said you trust me kann…?
Teruk la kalau everytime, every step nak kena find.
He said its not the main purpose of FINDER to keep on track of a person.
Its about safety. If something happen, we can be easily found.
Oh okey! I’ll think about it. But later la ye.
Semalam masa saya berkira-kira nak berbuka di mana, makan apa, dengan siapa,… kevin call. Dia kata stella ajak pergi berbuka rumah dia. I was like ‘Berbuka rumah stella?’ Mereka kan kristian… kevin cakap pergi makan malam la…at the same time saya berbuka puasa. Ohhh..apa yang slow sangat tu.
So, dalam pukul 5 lebih kevin dtg ambil. Sebelum pergi sana singgah beli kuih dan makanan untuk berbuka. Kevin cakap saya pilihlah apa-apa makanan yang saya nak makan in case saya tak selesa nak makan makanan yang stella masak. Tapi stella selalu cakap rumah mereka adalah pork free. So I need not to worry about the food and the utensils. Saya pun tak nak nampak sangat saya tak nak makan masakan dia. Saya beli je la apa-apa yang nampak sedap termasuk ikan bakar dan kuih muih.
Sampai sana stella tengah masak lagi. dia masak ikan sweet sour. Saya dok kt dapur tolong dia. Tolong tengok. Haha. Tk la, tolong je la apa yang patut bila kt rumah orang tu. Tolong angkat pinggan prepare meja makan. Semua anak-anak dia ada. Saya buatkan air..kevin asyik jenguk2 kat dapur tengok saya sambil tersenyum. sangat sweet rasa time itu. Dia pun dok usik-usik saya pandai ke masak, pandai ke cuci piring (pinggan). I don’t know if you can feel what I felt at that time. =P
Masa makan, I mean dekat2 waktu nak berbuka, semua duduk kat meja makan. Tapi semua tak makan or minum. Even the kids. Semua tunggu masuk waktu dulu. Saya rasa segan pulak dan suruh mereka makan dulu. Tapi semua pun nak tunggu makan sama-sama. Saya baca doa berbuka dan mereka baca doa mereka lah.
Lepas berbuka kevin hantar saya ke masjid untuk solat maghrib dan saya bagitahu saya terus terawih lah sebab dah sampai masjid. Lepas terawih kevin datang ambil dan pergi semula rumah stella. Duduk sana tengok tv, cerita-cerita. Stella masak lagi. dia goreng makaroni dan buat sandwich…makan punyalah banyak. Terus sahur sekali hehe. Sebab balik rumah pun dah pukul 1 lebih tgh malam.
Thanks kevin for the wonderful buka puasa together. I had so much fun hanging out with you, your sister & family =). Kurang sikit rindu kat my family dan adik-adik.
Two people might have a different way of thinking.
I am the person who do not like to plan too far ahead because I can be easily feel frustrated if anything does not happen the way you want.
While the other person likes to plan ahead as far as 2,3,5 years -10 years….
Finish study next year, then kerja kumpul duit, by the time I finish my study, settle down, grow family, bla bla bla… That’s what he think.
BUT!
In between…. I take turn to think. His family, my family, his religion… how can he has the confident ?
Its look like im always happy...happy to have him in my life. I do.
BUT! we can’t be too sure of everything.
Too many BUT in my mind already…*big sighhhh
