Better not to plan

It does not matter if what we planned did not meet our expectations. But when it happened twice, we tend to feel annoyed even there’s reason for that. The planning to take me to go to Sandakan went mess last weekend. Again. He said he wanted to take me there. But this is the 2nd time that his parents wanted to come down to KK when we wanted to go there. I’m pretty sure that it’s nothing to do with me going there. Of course his parents didn’t know. But don’t feel good about that. Bukan nak pergi jumpa his parents pun, Cuma saya nak pergi jalan-jalan ke sana. Dan kevin pun nak bawa saya tengok tempat dia. That is it kot. Dah malas nak plan.

I don’t blame kevin but he need to know that I am frustrated.

I spent my weekend at home on Saturday. I finished up whatever pending assignments that I have. And cleaned up the house. Then I and yaya cooked something special just to pamper ourselves. When I got bored I went to intai the neighbour if clara is home so that I could take her back but they were not around during weekend. Only this morning I saw Jen rushing to work. Clara must be at her in laws.

On Sunday pulak saya baru nak siap-siap keluar makan at about 1pm, kevin called and said he wanted to see me. Rupanya dia bawakan some food from Stella’s house yang his mother masakkan untuk lunch. Ada steamed fish dan sayur campur. He won’t bring any chicken for me sebab dia pun tak pasti whether it is halal. Kalau beli kat pasar tu ada juga yang tak sembelih. Kalau beli kat pasaraya confirm lah halal kan. And kevin minta maaf sebab our plan tak menjadi lagi. I’m frustrated but I’m not mad.

when I saw kevin, rasa kesian pun ada sebab saya tahu dia terlalu banyak simpan masalah dengan dia since we get together. He has the limitation to express it to his parents. He looks cool aje but he has a tonnes of burden on his shoulder. He has to study, nak plan pasal further study lagi, fikir pasal saya lagi. fikir pasal convert lagi. Dia tak pernah mengeluh dengan saya. Tapi saya tahu dia pun ada certain time dia tak dapat handle. Kadang-kadang dia akan cakap dia sakit kepala, need rest. So, kalau ada simple2 matter saya tak nak panjang-panjangkan cerita. I have to consider. And be supportive to him.

Sometimes saya ada fikir nak cakap dengan kevin
“How about we forget about us and just concentrate on our study. We meet again after we get what we want”

Tapi sebelum dia pengsan, saya rasa saya yang pengsan dulu nak cakap macam tu.

(-.-)"