Creepy Chicken Salad

I went to Sooka today to meet a friend and had lunch together. Kerja saya masa cuti ni selain dari jadi driver keluarga, saya jadi penjejak kasih. Mencari kawan-kawan lama yang dah lama tak jumpa. Sebab saya bosan. Dan tekanan. Bila tekanan kita kena buat benda yang boleh release. Especially, makan ! =)

How i tak belum lagi jadi chubby walaupun selera macam orang tak makan sebulan? Entah. But i dont care kalau chubby pun sebab sometimes saya adore chubby people. They look so comel kiut miut gebu rasa nak terkam dan peluk kuat kuat. Oh tidak termasuk lelaki lah ye.

Okey, back to the lunch punya cerita. I was planning to eat salad only since yesterday saya dah memakan segala jenis makanan nasi lemak, dan fast food bagai kan. so, i remind my friend, Jas, yang saya nak makan salad saja so jangan nak goda saya dengan the other tempting food.

Sesampai di Sooka, (sebab kawan saya kerja di KL Sentral, so Sooka is the nearest place she can go for lunch during her 1 hour lunch hour), kami ke Zen. Saya memang sudah aim nak makan salad kat Zen sebab salad dia memang fresh dan sedap. There are caesar salad or chicken crispy salad. 2 types to choose.

We looked at the menu and Jas ordered lamb. Sedap gile. But myself still stick to the salad idea. Masa tu my dad call. He was asking if i want the cutlery set from Singapore. Saya ada pesan saya nak set PISAU dari sana. Dont want to tell you apa saya nak buat dengan set PISAU tu. Haha

Okey, when i was on the phone, the waitress wanted to take my order, she looked so in hurry mungkin sebab ramai orang lunch masa tu. While i was still on the phone, I said..

"Give me the Creepy Chicken Salad"

Jas was like.... what did you say? Looking at me and laughed. Setan nya budak. Saya macam terpinga-pinga what did i say just now? Tak perasan sebab sibuk dengan phone. What? What?

And the waitress pun tersipu2 nak gelak. Aku pang jugak budak 2 orang ni.

Lepas habis cakap di telefon, baru lah Jas bagitahu i just ordered the Creepy Chicken Salad. Hah? Masa tu i wondering how the creepy chicken looks like?

• Like this? I want to be a vegetarian!

• Or this? Tidakkkkk...naked chick

• Yakkkk...whats with your feet chicken?

• Or this? You little cute creepy chick. Erkk

• Dem scary toys. I wont buy this. nightmare on chicken street la malam-malam kalau letak atas katil

Hahaha !

but this was actually brought to me. The Crispy Chicken Salad by Zen

Howwwwwwww......mouth watering

Nom nom nom

Feels like eating

cheese burger

curly fries

root beer float

onion ring

banana kaya pie

So, i have to make my way to McD, A&W and Dominos at the same time to fulfill my big big appetite

Haha!

Headache all day

Today was hot, really hot and rained in the evening. I'm exhausted. I got headache all day long. Ambil panadol 4 biji and lied down in the room sampai petang. Mama wants to take us out for lunch dan pergi spa tapi saya tak larat sangat nak ikut. So, she took the children and asked bik hera to look after me. Papa went to Singapore this morning and will be back next week. Then he'll be off to Bali again after that. I guess he won't have time for me after this. There's some thing i've always wanted to sit and tell him but time doesn't permit now.

I have so many things to tell you all about. Really just small random things, but for some reason I haven't been in the mood to share. I feel like a lot of time gets wasted when I get near my lappy here lately the only thing I've been wanting to do is go, go, go. That's a good thing I suppose. I just hop from blog to blog reading people's writing. Saya suka blog hoping but you will see me drop comment for you once in a while only. Guess i'm not a good commenter.

But in the back of my mind I am keeping a log of all the things I need to document and I'm tired of the nagging of it really. I think I need to just take a day and write it all out, get caught up, and feel good about it. Hopefully soon I will find a better routine for myself. One that doesn't involve that guilty feeling for spending a couple hours on the computer.

And i feel guilty of something i'm doing. But it is done intentionally. I won't blame myself of doing it. Just a small guilty. I can get rid of it. Hopefuly (@-@)"

I'm also thinking about a holiday or short trip maybe. Camping ke fishing ke, jungle trekking ke...sounds great!

Oh! Woww

Love them ! Who doesn't =)

Ada tetamu pagi-pagi

Pukul 8am

Bik hera ketuk pintu. Saya masih lah tidur. Kalau sambung tidur lepas subuh, harus lah ke pukul 9 kalau paling awal dapat bangun pun. Haha

"Yana, ada kawan datang"

"Hah? Kawan? Siapa bik?"

"Itu budak lelaki tu saya lupa nama dia"

"Budak lelaki? Noa ke?"

"Bukan"

Berdebar terus jantung. Kenapa kevin je yang muncul dalam fikiran. Rasa macam shaking tangan tutup pintu. Takkan dia main terjah macam ni.

Gosok gigi, cuci muka dan terus turun. Berjalan ke ruang tamu tu adalah perjalanan paling panjang rasanya. sebab nervous gile. Tengok dari jauh ada seorang lelaki kat sofa tengah tengok handpohone. Bila sampai dekat,

Ceh!

Sidd rupanya. Tersengih kat sofa. Bodoh betul fikir kevin yang datang. Mungkin sebab rindu sangat dengan dia kot. Tapi kalau kevin datang, saya tak akan marah dia. Mesti akan terus berlari dapatkan dia.

Frust pulak tiba-tiba. =(

"Oit awalnya datang? Ingat ke sapa. Bila balik KL?"

"Baru sampailah ni dari airport, saja je terus singgah. Surprise!"

Haa ye! Memang surprise. Sidd balik sebab ada kursus 2 minggu kat KL. Dia naik flight pagi. Sidd ni memang rajin ikut kursus sana sini. Borak-borak kejap lepas tu pergi naik mandi. Masa mandi masih fikirkan kenapa bukan kevin yg datang. Gile frust. Kenapa ntah.

Then turun semula. Tengok Noni dah ada depan tengok TV. Yang lain-lain belum turun.

Saya pergi dapur tengok apa yang ada untuk dimasak. Bik hera dah buatkan air dan dah ada mihun goreng. saya buat roti telur saja nak meriahkan makanan. Lepas masak tu mama turun, cerita-cerita dengan sidd kat depan dan mama kejutkan papa. We all breakfast sama-sama.

Lepas breakfast dalam pukul 11 lebih saya keluar hantarkan sidd ke klang. dia nak naik teksi saja tapi takkan lah kan. alang-alang memang nak keluar beli barang dapur tu, mama pun ikut sama. Mama sidd dengan adik2 dia ada kat rumah. Diaorang ajak makan tengahari kat sana tapi mama kena balik masak. Hari ni mama dah janji nak masak nasi ayam.

Balik dari rumah sidd singgah Giant beli ayam dan salad untuk masak nasi ayam. Yumyum sedap betul nasi ayam mama ni sampai makan 2 pinggan tadi. Malam ni papa cakap nak gi makan ikan stim. Tak tahu lah kat mana. Wahh cuti ni makan saja ye Weighing scale pun kat mana nak kena cari balik dan letak sebelah peti ais. Bila nak ambil makanan je nampak scale tu mesti tak jadi nak makan.

=P

Take the children to pasar malam

You may be wondering kenapa saya selalu panggil adik-adik saya as 'children'.

Well, maybe becoz they are still little little boys and girl to me.

If you see, i've updated my family tree page up there, you can see the age of my siblings.
Saya yang paling tua, tua ke? Bawah saya adalah Adif dan beza umur kami pun dah 10 tahun. so i treat them as small children. until now! Sometimes Adif pretend to be a grown up boy, dan saya tarik telinga dia dan cakap, you are still my little brother okey.

My mum cakap dulu dia ingat kan I'll be the only child in the family sebab lepas lahirkan saya, tiada tanda-tanda saya nak dapat adik selama 9 tahun. But there you come! another 3 berderet...haha

Hari ni, Noni tak sihat. I believe it is due to the cat. She just lie down saja depan TV lepas balik sekolah. Dia tak nak makan. Adif called me when i was having my lunch with Nil & Lily at Bangsar tadi. So, i came back immediately after the lunch dan cancelled plan untuk merayau di MV. We tried to cheer her up. Mama balik awal dan kami semua keluar ke pasar malam. Coz Noni always like pasar malam.

• Cendoi ! Cendoi !

• Nasi ayam untuk 5 orang ahli keluarga. Except me. Saya beli laksa utara
  

• Saya suka ni (aiyah kenapa bila nak letak caption time tu la lupa apa nama makanan ni)

I'm sure Noni will be better tomorrow. Tonight she is sleeping with me. it might be comforting for her to know that she is not alone in grieving the death of her cat.

Good nite all.

RIP April

I lost a cat today.

Her name was April because she was born in April. She got hit by a car in front of the house. Noni ran to save her, but she ran back to me crying bila nampak banyak darah dekat April.

I know, bila dah sampai ajal. Tidak boleh salahkan sesiapa. The car owner stopped the car and apologized. He wanted to pay us for the damage.

Berapa nak bayar? Nyawa tiada nilai.

He should ask for forgiveness dari tuhan saja. Itu saja boleh bayar penderitaan my sister now.

Rest in peace baby cat.

Meals Station at 1.26pm

Dulu trend masa remaja sekolah menengah kan lepak kat fast food restaurant. Kalau dengan baju sekolah lepas balik sekolah masuk McD atau KFC makan-makan dah kira KL habis dah tu. Kalau pergi minum satu air karbonat atau makan satu aiskrim atau beli satu fries pun dah best. Asalkan nampak lepak kat fast food.

Trend sekarang, kopitiam pulak. Old Town, Killineys, Paparich. Makan mee kari atau roti bakar. minum cham ice atau black coffee. Sampaikan kedai kopi kat kampung pun ada jual chicken chop sebab nak feeling kopitiam [@-@]"

Hari ni saya jumpa kawan lama, Shad dan Anuar. They are both my friends when i was in kolej dulu. Met them in Facebook dan janji janji dah lama untuk jumpa. Sekarang lah masanya kerana semuanya sedang bercuti sem. Jumpa mereka pun sebab ada something nak dibincangkan. Ada projek sikit. Hah dan sah lah memang jumpa kat kopitiam pun. But this time around, Shad suggested kami cuba Meals Station kat Sooka.

The service and the food are actually not badddd... boleh tahan.

• Menu best sebab most food ada gambar. I kalau tengok nama makanan tanpa gambar akan blur. So, suka lah dengan menu dia.

• Mine one, ribena lemonade. Recommended. Shad suruh kacau-kacau tapi saya suka minum macam ni. Bila sedut kat bahagian atas rasa lemonade macam sprite, dan kat bawah ada ribena.

• I ordered sotong kangkung. Sebab everytime ke kopitiam mesti nak makan mee kari atau cantonese yee mee. Nak tukar taste la pula. Tidak mengecewakan sotong kangkung ni. Enjoy hingga ke kacang yang terakhir.

• Shad ate mee kari. I try sikit, sedap. cuma kuah kalau pekat sikit, lagi sedap. And also no shadow of kerang. Saya suka mee kari ada banyak kerang.

• Anuar with mee rebus. Looked tasty too. See the different between my ribena lemonade dengan Shad punya ribena lemonade (sebelah kanan yang dikacau sebati). Yang mana lebih feeling ribena lemonade?

• And the price is reasonable. Shad said 'Saya belanja' Yey!

We lepak for about 3 hours kat situ. Sampai rasa macam orang makan dah bertukar ganti dah kami masih tak habis cerita. Lepas tu barulah beredar sebab dah malu malu.

Happy and happiness

I think, happiness is a personal journey…it takes awareness everyday that being happy is a choice and it is up to us individually to create it in our lives. And yes, it has nothing to do with materialism…it is more about giving love to self and others, as well as helping yourself and others achieve their highest potential in all aspects of life.

I feel happy today, because i have a good news about my little darling punya surgery. Doa-doa kan lah semua supaya ia akan jadi kenyataan. it's not easy actually and it requires few stages of surgery. but i don't care how many stages. i just want it to happen. My dad walaupun busy all the time tapi sempat temankan mama dan saya ke medical centre hari ni untuk perbincangan selanjutnya dengan pakar di sana. And i am blessed with my family's generosity and love. Syukur.

And also your generosity and time for leaving me comments as guidance and advices ... I thank you for that. My life is full with nice people around. I'm blessed again. =)


Thinking about buying a present for kev. Sebagai tanda ucapan tahniah saya kepada dia kerana berjaya nak pergi mengejar cita-cita mama dia. To show my support and appreciation. And to show him that i love him in every way i could. In whatever he is doing.

He did mention about this adidas predator before several times. Dia suka sangat. I don't really know how guys buying your shoes. Apa yang u all suka and consider bila beli kasut? but this one looks HOT too. So i have ordered this, hope he likes it.

What do you think?





But the matter is, adakah kesempatan untuk berjumpa kevin sebelum dia berangkat.
Harap adalah... isk ='(

Masanya?

Bila jumpa maktok, maktok bertanya khabar kevin. dia hanya mengenali kevin melalui luahan perasaan saya tempoh hari. Maktok cakap dia nak jumpa Kevin sebelum kevin berangkat ke Australia July nanti.

Hajat maktok disampaikan kepada saya secara diam-diam. katanya dia dah tua, dah uzur. dia nak jumpa dengan lelaki yang cucu dia suka. yang cucu dia jatuh hati sampai nak mati. dia nak kenal lelaki itu dan pastikan dia sesuai atau tidak untuk cucunya. Itu penting sebelum dia pergi. Saya tanya kalau maktok cakap tak sesuai macam mana? maktok kata, dia kenal saya. dia tahu macam mana saya buat pilihan.

Saya rasa macam akan melangkah lebih jauh jika memperkenalkan kevin kepada nenda saya. tetapi seperti membelakangi ibu bapa sendiri. jauh dalam hati masih risau ibu bapa akan terus menolak sebelum mengenali kevin. sudah tiba kah masa untuk leraikan semua rahsia yang saya simpan selama ini ?

Atau temukan kevin dengan nenda untuk memohon restu sementara?

Fikir...saya sedang fikir

Kenapa mesti jatuh hati sekaligus rasa macam nak mati

6pm

Kevin : Hello sayang

Me : Hello kev. where are you?

Kevin : Kat rumah. You kat luar? I mengganggu ke?

Me : Tak ada lah. Kat rumah ni.

Kevin : Kata nak keluar hari ni?

Me : Tak jadi lah, hujan lebat. Nanti sangkut jem.

Kevin : Ok... i miss you so much sebab tu i call

Me : Miss you too... How's your preparation? Sorry selalu lupa nak tanya pasal ni.

Kevin : I'm not in the mood.

Me : Why?

Kevin : Tak tahu lah...

Me : Don't say that you want to give it up.

Kevin : No.. no. I just feel that it's hard. To leave you.

Me : We have discussed about this kann... i'm gonna be fine. The most important thing is you. You yang pergi jauh. I should be worrying about you.

Kevin : True...tapi i lelaki. I know myself. I risaukan u.

Me : If i say i don't want you to go pun, you mesti nak pergi juga kan?

Kevin : I'm doing this for us.

Me : No. You are doing this for your family.

Kevin : Why do you say that?

Me : I know kev. You tak perlu explain, i tahu.

Kevin : You tahu apa? Tell me..

Me : Siapa yang nak sangat you pergi study oversea. It is out of sudden. sebelum ni you pun tak pernah cakap nak further study kan tapi semua ni tiba-tiba je.

*silent

Kevin : Okey, please give me only 2 years.

Me : Sure. I dah cakap, you pergi je. i'll be ok.

Kevin : Tapi i tahu you tak suka i pergi kan ?

Me : I tak cakap i tak suka, kev

Kevin : But i don't have your support here.

Me : Okey, i'm sorry i did not show you my support. Fine, i mengakulah i tak suka you pergi. but i'm not a small kid. i tak boleh nak nangis-nangis nak tahan you...you should understand me.

Kevin : I faham you. sebab tu rasa macam berat hati je

Me : Nevermind. Prove to your mum that you are serious about your study. And you still care about them. It's not all about me ok. I know that they don't like me.

Kevin : Please don't say like that. They never say that.

Me : I'm 22, i'm not 12. Of course i can smell things.

Kevin : its too early to judge everything. Don't worry too much. I'll work it out.

Me : It's not gonna be easy.

Kevin : But we will be fine. Just fine.

Me : How sure are you?

Kevin : 150%. I appreciate you. I tak main-main.

Me : Kita boleh survive duduk berjauhan?

Kevin : Boleh. Sekarang pun kita survive.

Me : Tapi sakit.

Kevin : Tahu. Sakit. Rindu, lonely. I feel it too.

Rindu.............lonely. Sakit.

Bukan tak rindu. Tapi lagi rindu, lagilah rindu. Sebab tu perlu buat benda lain untuk kurangkan rindu.

Nak share something dengan you all. You know what, stella lah yang bagitahu yang their parents dah tahu lebih kurang pasal kevin and i. The other day, yang kami terserempak dengan abang kevin kat 1B tu, ingat tak? Jangan harap abang dia tak bagitahu mama dia. Mestilah dia bagitahu. Then mama kevin tanya Stella, and she tried to cover it up supaya mama dia tak fikir serius sangat.

Tapi ibu mana tidak panik kalau terasa macam ada something dengan anak dia yang boleh menyebabkan anak dia buat sesuatu seperti menukar agama or lupakan keluarga kerana seorang perempuan. Kalau saya pun, saya panik. And mama dia juga yang beria kemudiannya suruh kevin further study lagi. kalau boleh sejauh mungkin dari sabah. tapi bukan di semenanjung. Saya rasa lah.

Stella told me everything. but this kevin selalu nak simpan rahsia. dia kata semuanya akan okey, semuanya akan okey. sometimes i marah dengan kevin juga. geram sebab rasa macam tak penting dalam hidup dia sebab dia tak melibatkan saya dalam buat keputusan atau tak ceritakan semua masalah pada saya. Alasan, tak nak saya risau, dan dia boleh handle. Gosshhh!! Macam dalam drama. Saya pun masih berharap semua ni adalah drama dan bukan realiti. Kenapa mesti jatuh hati sekaligus rasa macam nak mati.

You don't like my blog header

Hormati keputusan anda.

Tengok kalau ada kesempatan saya buat header lain lah. Ok. but no promises. Tengok kerajinan. Tapi blog ini masih diteruskan walaupun tanpa header. Macam tiada kepala pula rasanya kan?
=D

Poll lah

Pancake anyone ?

I'm making pancake. You know how people can make a nice and gebu pancake?

Selain daripada beli dalam kotak kat pasaraya la of course. Haha.

I'm trying hard nowww....but actually i like thin pancake. so i can eat with some crispy feeling of it. Ouhh makan pancake pun kena ada feeling tau.

Emm..let see saya nak makan dengan apa nanti. i think i got something in the fridge yang boleh makan dengan pancake ni.

I'm going out to meet friends today and Noa also ask me to follow him to his set. At least i got something to do kan.

By the way, keep voting ok. I'm not really cool with the header also that is why i ask for your opinion. Just for suka-suka. I see this blog is quite messy now. some people ask if i want to change to .com but i don't think so. i'm not sure how long this blog is going to last. so i prefer to stay with blogspot. Take care. Bye

Lembut di dalam

I'm at Damansara. Mama ajak temankan dia kat kedai hari ni. Sebab 2 of her staff on leave so dia pun kena datang tolong. Saya bukan nya pandai nak tolong ni, so saya angkut lappy sekali. Sambil bersila makan Big Apple dalam office mama. =) Tak apalah, at least saya ada temankan dia. Try to be helpful but...uhhh..

Sebelum keluar tadi dah cakap dengan mama

'Mama, kakak nak makan Big Apple. Kita tapau kat mana-mana ye'

'Okey, kalau nak yang besar-besar, kena gi supermarket la'

'Hah? Apa yang besar'

'You said nak makan big apple kan?'

Gelak kuat-kuat nak ikat tali pinggang keledar pun tak dapat sebab rasa nak tergelak lagi

'Mama, please la. Big Apple donut la'

'Oh, mama ingatkan buah epal'

Selamba je mama ni macam tak ada feeling. Okey lah nak sambung makan lagi. Nom nom !

Say cheese !!!!

I miss my baby

I spoke to Clara today. Like missing my own baby...kept smiling to hear her voice.

wish that the date will be set soon. To bring more happiness to her life. Mama & I are working on it.

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.

Miley & Bieber ?

Cool lah Bieber fans... They are just hanging out together =D
Tapi semua orang macam fanatik sangat dengan Bieber ni, jadi rebutan kakak-kakak semua. No wonder coz he is damn cute.

Justin, mari lah sini dating dengan Kakak Arianna.



Note :
If you all perasan kan, saya ada letak a blog link kat atas tepi kanan side bar tu. i'll be putting there blog yang i rasa best best the best untuk dibaca. yang ada isi dan yang i suka lepak kat situ. you rajin-rajin lah klik sana jugak. see yourself kan. mari kita meriahkan lagi blog-blog tersebut. i'll be changing the link from time to time. sokonglah blogger-blogger malaysia. yey!

Sepagi bersama papa

My dad woke me up at 6am today and asked me out for breakfast. He likes to take me for early breakfast where we eat and chat and read newspaper at the shop for hours then only we tapau breakfast for the others at home and go back. I always enjoy that moment so i never lah nak marah or merungut kalau papa call pagi-pagi buta kejutkan saya sebab dah tahu mesti nak ajak pergi breakfast. Maybe that is the only time he think it is suitable to get closer to his daughter. Lately we have no time for each other. He is always busy and i seldom at home. Hopefully it's not gonna change anything we had in the family.

I thought that we were going to kampung baru. the favourite place for papa to eat nasi lemak or lontong. but he took me to mamak instead. Dia kata i sure rindu mamak dekat rumah tu sebab dah lama tak pekena tose garing.

Yeyyy...2 keping tose garing. In 2 hours time lepak kan so consider okey lah 2 keping tu. Masa tu dalam pukul 7 lebih so tak ramai orang lagi. Plus, saturday most of people tak kerja, mereka suka keluar breakfast lewat. Saya suka sambal mamak tu. Minta extra lagi dalam mangkuk asing. so tamak.

Kami cerita-cerita then papa told me that he might be going to Bali still next month. Hari tu cakap tak jadi tapi sekarang mungkin masih kena pergi sana. For several weeks or months juga bergantung kepada progress projek kat sana lah. Pity mama. How la feeling kalau jadi isteri yang selalu kena tinggal oleh suami macam tu kan. Mama tak boleh selalu ikut ke sana sini sebab anak-anak nak sekolah. Lagi mama pula dah mula berniaga. So sad.

And papa asking since next year is my final year, if saya nak further study lagi lepas tu, i said i don't know. Kalau ikutkan hati saya tak nak belajar lagi. Sekarang pun dah tak sabar nak kerja. Tapi entahlah, papa asked me to think about it sebab dia suggest saya terus belajar sampai setinggi mana saya nak.

Now, my life macam tak terurus dan tak terancang seperti yang dirancang. Hope you know what i mean sebab tak best membebel tanpa orang faham. =)

Esok ada member ajak keluar tapi sebab only Sunday yang family semua ada kat rumah, so maybe i stay kat rumah sajalah esok. Monday boleh plan lain pula.

Happy weekend !

Adamaya

Saya tak pernah tengok Adamaya, drama yang orang dok cakap romantis dan best tu. tapi bila semalam dapat tahu ia adalah episod terakhir and nothing to do, i secretly went to watch the show kat bilik mama. sebab kat hall Noni concurred tengok MTV. I thought dia akan tengok Mat Kacau ke, Belalalang ke, tapi meleset.

Back to Adamaya, even first time tengok pun rasa macam touching dengan jalan cerita dia. Saya boleh faham yang Maya married to Adam tapi masih ada affair dengan Dani, her first love. First love, sangat susah nak lupa. It remains forever and ever dalam hidup kita. Saya pun mengeluarkan air mata melihatkan ketulusan dan kesabaran seorang lelaki seperti Adam. That is true love. Walaupun apa kesalahan pasangan kita buat, kita masih setia menyokong dan sudi memaafkan. I wish to have a boyfriend / husband like Adam. Sebab saya ni selalu je buat kesalahan ;). Eh 'ter'buat.

Thinking of Adam, saya teringat dengan kevin. Dia memang lebih kurang macam tu lah. Selalu sedia maafkan saya, sebab dia kata manusia tak perfect. Kalau kasih sayang tu ada, kita pasti dapat melupakan kesilapan-kesilapan dan memaafkan. Saya juga fikir, saya banyak tidak berterus terang dengan kevin. apa yang saya buat bukan semuanya dia tahu. seperti bila saya keluar dengan kawan-kawan baik lelaki saya. most of the time, kevin tak tahu. Adakah itu menipu namanya? Pada saya, saya bukan menipu. saya hanya tidak bagi tahu. Dua perkara berbeza. Sebab kalau saya bagi tahu, ia akan membuat dia rasa tak selesa. sedangkan saya tak buat apa-apa atau ada apa-apa selain dari hanging out. As long as he trust me, i have to trust him. Tapi manusia ni cakap saja macam tu kan. Ada masa saya pula terlebih syakwasangka.

Satu perkara saja saya agak kesalkan sekarang dan hari ini saya fikirkannya. Saya tidak menyokong dia sangat untuk sambung belajar ke Aussie. Everytime dia nak cerita pasal tu, saya mengelak. Everytime dia ajak saya temankan dia uruskan semua dokumen ke sana saya cakap saya sibuk. Bila dia cakap nak minta tolong dia belikan pakaian yang sesuai kat sana, saya cakap tak perlu, kat sana boleh beli. Kesian dia. ='( Baru sekarang saya rasa, macamana perasaan dia. Perangai memberontak saya secara diam tu dah keterlaluan, mungkin. Saya tak pasti sebab dia tak pernah mengeluh dan marah pasal tu. Saya rasa dia faham kenapa saya begitu, dan dia tak memaksa saya.

Dia belum pergi tapi sekarang pun dah terpisah. How i miss him, tuhan saja yang tahu. Bangun pagi ingat dia, nak tidur ingat dia. Tried to be strong. But it is not easy.

I close my eyes, and there you are;
you dazzle me, from near and far;
no other like it, uniquely you;
all perfect curves, from head to toe;
from hips to calves, from eyes to nose;
both inside and outside, your brilliance flows;
still strong without you, I remain;
though hard it is, each passing day;
I am bolstered too, each sunless night;
your voice I hear, turns dark to light;
I want you now, stay near to me;
eyes open wide, still you I see

- Bryce Johnston -

What i do today

It's gonna rain very soon. Suka bila hujan macam ni kalau kat rumah. I like the sound of the rain dropping, the smell of the grass outside the house and the chill. Wanted it to last forever. Haa..tapi tak suka bila satu benda je. Bila baru je lepas cuci kereta pagi tadi. *sigh sigh

Pagi tadi keluar hantar adik-adik pergi sekolah, saya pergi cuci kereta. Lepas tu singgah rumah Maklong. Mama ajak pergi spa dia tapi saya malas. Saya bukan kaki spa. sejak mama dah operate spa tu, percaya tak saya tak pernah buat apa-apa treatment or massage or whatever ada kat situ. Emm sebenarnya saya tak suka orang sentuh badan saya. Geli and rasa pelik. Mama pun pelik. Saya cuba cari nama penyakit yang mempunyai simpton2 seperti saya ni tapi tak jumpa lagi. Ada ke?

Maklong biasalah dengan riuh rendah suaranya kalau dia cakap jiran pun boleh dengar. haha. Ijoy & Fahmy tak ada, tapi diaorang dah janji nak bawa saya keluar makan malam ni. I miss them both. Like you miss your brother yang dah lama tak jumpa. We used to be so closed to each other before i further my study. Saya jarang balik rumah dan mereka pun sibuk kerja. Masing-masing macam dah ada life sendiri dan ada gf dan bf. It does change people.

Maklong gorengkan saya mee sambil saya sibuk makan segala biskut yang dia ada. Maklong memang suka buat biskut walaupun bukan hari raya. tu yang special kalau pergi rumah dia. maklong bertanya semua benda lah dengan saya. sampai kelam kabut nak menjawab kadang-kadang bila ada soalan soalan terkumpul dan soalan berikutnya. Berpeluh. sometimes kan even dengan my mother pun masih ada rahsia, apatah lagi nak cerita dengan orang lain. I reserved my comment.

Lepak kat sana sampai tengahari dan lepas tu pergi ambil adik-adik yang manja mengada bila kakak ada tak nak naik bas sekolah. on the way balik singgah McD drive-thru. Sangat menyihatkan lah lunch yang kakak dia bagi. Sesekali treat the children macam tu mereka suka sangat. Tak salah buat mereka gembira kan? Arianna selalu saja ada alasan nak melepaskan diri.

Oh it rained already. Cats and dogs. Sukanya. Nak pergi enjoy the rain. Talk to you later.

Priceless !

We had some makan-makan and BBQing tonight as we want to celebrate belated Mother's Day.

My family is amazing. Dari petang dah sibuk keluarkan kerusi dan meja ke belakang rumah, papa tried hard hidupkan api, bravo! Mama the master of grill sibuk marinade ayam dan udang, Adif dengan favourite Ramly's chicken sausage so dia concentrate dengan itu je, Noni nak chicken wing walaupun belum betul-betul masak, tak sabar nya. Iman tolong kakak panggang jagung, tried to be nice to his sister yang baru balik lah tu.

But the moment... priceless!

Kenapa saya suka Sandakan selain daripada Kevin ;)

Beautiful city by the sea



The spirit of rehabilitation


The family tree..thehe



The unique friends and friendship



Agnes Keith house...who wrote the 'Land Below the Wind'



The memory



Kevin said it likes me...cute



The king of seafood is here too

With amazingly delicious seafood ever !






It is getting harder to leave Sandakan........ [-.-]"