My Sunday

I received kevin's e-mail this morning to say that he really wants me to further my study with him there. While i am sticking to my idea of going back to KL and apply for a job immediately after graduate. Settle down with my own income and adopt Clara. Stay in KL with her while my family is moving to Bali for few years. Or more!

Papa has approved my idea and he will leave our bibik with me. :) Not that i can bibik her but i have some one in the house so won't feel so lonely nanti.

Nicely planned.

My mum said we have to plan ahead even it is impossible. That is true.

I will explain to kevin hope that he could understand me..but at this moment, i dont want him to feel that he is not in my future plan while he always include me in !

Kevin is soft hearted inside...sometimes he likes to sulk too..the he he

I have no plan today but DVDs only... how bout yours?



Cinema time

alletun

I have been awake for nothing. wanted to study for next week exam but for 1 hour i just held the Chem notes, while listening to HOT. I kept looking on the same line and read nothing!

Felt hungry, then I went to the kitchen and found this!




alletun


Let's dig !

Reader's comment

I do appreciate comments from readers. I read them all walau pun tak reply satu-satu. Thanks kepada yang sudi tinggalkan komen ye. And yesterday, i was held back by this comment.

araianna...just forget it him.. coz im 100% think that if he changed his religion to muslim is that becoz of u.. becoz of love..! not even to OUR GOD (ALLAH) u should think about that arianna... if u realy loves kevin...just forget it him... give space for him to realize his self to be sum1... mybe i cant feel how ur feeling but... juz wondering u that “ boleh ke awak bimbing dia arianna???????? fikir sehabis baik arianna...jiwa muda sekarang mmg kita xdpt nk tolak....even u ckp trust him 100%... NOOO!! u wrong...selagi u xjadi wife die...dont! jgn letakkan kepercayaan 100% untuk die... u know what, u dont know what his doing there arianna....U DONT KNOW! even u ckp he never lie before this to u...but remember arianna, everybody make mistake....and u cant say that he never lies to u arianna..becoz he really far from u arianna..u cant c what his doing...ape lg his not muslim...u even no if he doing sumthg bad behind u... remember arianna...think about ur feeling someday.......

Maybe she/he is right also.. and I really don't know what to say...

Easy come..easy go

Easy come..easy go
That is so true
It's better to play hard to get thou.

Nothing ..just mumbling..i just kindda like Bruno Mars recently

...and busy with my study life
lots of thing to tell but don't really have time to sit and type.

Foods that help you sleep

Having difficult time to sleep?

Not me..thehee...
I letak je kepala kat bantal, selamat beradu lah jawabnya. tak perlu letak kat bantal kepala. letak kat atas meja pun boleh lena...ZZzzzz

Just nak share here kepada yang susah nak lelap, you can try this :)

1. Cherries. Fresh and dried cherries are one of the only natural food sources of melatonin, the chemical that controls the body's internal clock to regulate sleep. Researchers who tested tart cherries and found high levels of melatonin recommend eating them an hour before bedtime or before a trip when you want to sleep on the plane.

2. Bananas. Potassium and magnesium are natural muscle relaxants, and bananas are a good source of both. They also contain the amino acid L-tryptophan, which gets converted to 5-HTP in the brain. The 5-HTP in turn is converted to serotonin (a relaxing neurotransmitter) and melatonin.

3. Toast. Carbohydrate-rich foods trigger insulin production, which induces sleep by speeding up the release of tryptophan and serotonin, two brain chemicals that relax you and send you to sleep..

4. Oatmeal. Like toast, a bowl of oatmeal triggers a rise in blood sugar, which in turn triggers insulin production and the release of sleep-inducing brain chemicals. Oats are also rich in melatonin, which many people take as a sleep aid..

5. Warm milk. Like bananas, milk contains the amino acid L-tryptophan, which turns to 5-HTP and releases relaxing serotonin. It's also high in calcium, which promotes sleep


Credit to yahoo.

Ok, selamat beramal !

Eh selamat malam laa..

My Sunday

Had instant pancakes with honey for breakfast




And ice cream for lunch

=)

Sunday is delicious !

His mother doesn't like me

Semalam baru sempat pergi rumah Stella. bagi barang-barang yang kevin kirimkan untuk anak buah dia. bayangkan tu dah berapa lama saya simpan kat rumah. sibuk sangat ke sana sini.
Stella okey, warm and friendly as usual. saya dapat tahu yang papa kevin dah okey sikit. bukan sihat sepenuhnya tapi masih dapat berjalan ke sana sini cuma tak dapat buat kerja berat-berat. alhamdulillah. teringin nak jumpa dia lagi. he is kind. tapi saya tak dapat nak pergi ke rumah dia.

Bila bercakap dengan stella banyaklah perkara yang saya akan tahu yang saya tak akan dapat tahu dari mulut kevin sendiri. stella cakap dia kena bagitahu saya supaya saya tahu macamana duduk perkara. saya faham niat stella baik. dia nak suruh saya tahu apa yang sebenarnya berlaku. dia nak saya bersedia dan buat apa yang sepatutnya. kalau tanya kevin dia akan cakap semua okey saja. dia tak nak saya risau tapi yang tak eloknya, saya yang lost. tak tahu apa yang sebenarnya terjadi.

Yang pentingnya saya tahu yang mama kevin tak suka saya. tak suka saya datang dalam life kevin. tak suka saya dekati kevin. apatah lagi nak bawa dia ke dalam agama saya. dan orang yang paling penting dalam hidup kevin ialah mama dia. sebab itu saya faham kenapa kevin masih belum convert. dia pernah cakap nak convert sebelum dia ke australia. tapi tak jadi. dan saya tak pernah tanya. it's sensitive. bila dia dah sedia, biar dia buat sendiri. bukan datang dari paksaan saya. im not pushing him..it's a burden you see. try not to think if i am wasting my time loving him. [-.-]' But my love is too strong to be avoided. that is the problem.

Stella tried to say that we will be fine together. she wants us to be strong and face whatever it is if we love each other. she is such a good sister. i don't have one, so i love her so much.

When i came home, i wrote an email to kevin.
Told him to be strong and i will always love him.

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Just The Way You Are =)

You're amazing, just the way you are

Terlupa

I don't know what went wrong with me, i totally forgot to call sidd and ask about her mother. since i left to Aussie until last night only i realized that i didn't call him for so long already. Felt so guilty and sidd was not like usual. Mungkin dia marah atau kecil hati. atau dia sedang risaukan mama dia. I felt so sad.

Her mother is still in the hospital and getting worse. sidd has quit his job here and will stay in KL to take care of his family. i wish i can do something to ease their burden. maybe i could help in supporting sidd..to make him stronger. give him advice or call him always. at least he doesn't feel so lonely kan?

I have a volleyball match today. friendly match. dan tak sempat pun join latihan. no warm up. mesti sakit-sakit badan nanti. harap stamina masih ada. kalau tak, malulah dengan adik-adik junior. got to go now. till later.

Sorry, pusher

Went to the kenduri yesterday in the morning. Was there for a while only because I had to rush to collect material from a friend for my assignment. Yaya pun tak dapat pergi semalam sebab dia ada tutorial ganti. When I was there saw Hantu Pisang lagi. he looked so smart in his dark green baju melayu. Okey, memang kalah tengok orang lelaki pakai baju melayu. Sangat menarik I think. Hehe. he was busy helping with the food serving but still curi-curi pandang I realized.

Masa nak balik he came to me and asked why I didn’t call him. so I went like
“You are a kind of pusher, aren’t you?”
He smiled and said
“Sorry, peluang hanya datang sekali. Mesti cepat bertindak”

Huh I like that! seriously.

But I said I am busy look lile tipu sangat kan. He said that he is interested to know me once he saw me. But later nicely told him that I am not really interested and I am in a relationship. That doesn’t mean jual mahal ke whatever but I just being fair to kevin..

He said that he respect me for that and will try again in future. May there will be another chance.
Funny. Like your spirit though.

We actually can be just friend or kenalan but when the first intention is different it will lead to a different thing. Moreover, he is quite interesting the type of I may like. So its better to avoid him. I don’t want to give even a lil chance to another thing which can relate to another bigger matter.

May you find a better person Mr. Hantu Pisang.

If kevin knows this he will surely feel proud of me =)

Hantu pisang

Tadi lepas maghrib saya & yaya pergi rumah kawan.. Esok ada kenduri sempena menyambut maulidur rasul di rumah dia. so kami kawan-kawan pergilah menyibuk membantu.
Went there to help whenever needed. Nak kata tolong memasak tidak juga. manalah saya pandai. Hehe. Tolong kupas bawang, siang sayur tu boleh lah. Kenduri tu katanya kecil, tapi nampak macam besar aje.

Tadi kan masa kat sana ada seorang lelaki ni, berbaju melayu biru. berkopiah. saya perasan dia asyik pandang je..ok biasalah kalau orang tengok2.. tapi ini tengok yang sampai orang pun boleh perasan. bila saya perasan dan tengok dia balik, dia tengok tempat lain. So sangat tidak selesa. Mula-mula saya perasan dia menolong di depan. dekat ramai-ramai orang lelaki. angkat kerusi dan kemas-kemas. Tapi lepas tu dia banyak duduk kat dapur pula. Bukan saya perasan. sebab bukan saya je yang perasan. member-member lain pun perasan juga. Dah mula lah nak usik-usik.

Lepas tu masa saya tengah cuci pinggan lepas kami makan, dia datang nak cuci tangan. well, boleh je kan pergi cuci tempat lain, atau tunggu dulu cuci kemudian. Lepas tu dia tegur..

"Cuci pinggan ke?"
"Tak..cuci piring"
ok, orang sabah panggil cuci pinggan tu sbg cuci piring ok. Saya saja je loyar buruk.
"Oh okey..hati-hati ye"
"Bah.."

Dia senyum. Manislah juga senyumannya tu.
I thought dia orang sabah, rupanya my friend cakap dia orang semenanjung. kawan abang dia. datang bercuti di sabah. malu lah pulak lepas tu. haha.

Lepas tu masa borak-borak kat dapur, dia pun datang join sama bawak sebakul pisang. pisang untuk kenduri esok. Dia tolong bersihkan pisang tu. Cerita-cerita pasal pasal student kat mesir, daripada situ saya tahu dia pun student kt kl datang sabah jalan-jalan.

Ok lah, masa nak balik dia ambil beberapa biji pisang dan masukkan dalam plastik bagi kat saya. dia kata sebab saya tak makan tadi, so kena bawa balik. Saya ambik.

Sebab apa saya cerita ni semua? sebab bila dah balik rumah, buka buku nak buat assignment rasa macam nak makan pisang tadi. Bila nak buka pisang tu terus nampak ni

Hah lawak sungguh. Dekat pisang pun boleh.

Tak. Saya tak call dia.

selamat malam.

Salam Maulidur Rasul

Miss clara

I went to see my baby during weekend. Clara dah besar dah!
My first word bila tengok clara after few weeks didnt see her. Budak-budak cepat je besar kan? She looks so cute dan manja sangat.
Bila peluk dia rasa terlepas segala rindu.
Clara tanya kenapa dah lama saya tak bawa dia jalan-jalan. I guess she miss me too ..
Went there with Yaya. Also to discuss with Jen about the 2nd operation for clara. i have to take Clara back to KL for check up and schedule the operation. Probably end Mar to Apr. Have to settle all this before my family leave to Bali. At least bila semua dah settle mama pun tak risau sangat. she is the one who do the follow up with clara's paed. walaupun dia busy. i know that she loves clara very much.
Wish that i could help with papa & mama uruskan semua hal untuk berpindah. from mama's spa sampailah ke urusan pertukaran sekolah adik-adik. tapi i have this study to settle. that's why saya rasa macam tak sabar nak habiskan. i have a lot of things to do.
I bought formula milk, diapers and baby food for clara and her brother and the baby. hope i still help eventhough not so much.
Rasa nak bawa balik je clara ke rumah ni. tapi siapa nak jaga nanti. peninglah. dalam hati ni macam menjerit-jerit je. tapi tiada siapa nak dengar. rindu sangat dengan dia. harap jen akan jaga dia baik-baik. i wish that i can take care of clara by myself one day.

Here i am

Basically busy sampai nak makan pun missed. Assignments, tests, lectures, kereta rosak. Kepala pun pening.
Back here on Monday dan terus ada test. Nice. Senyum sorang-sorang jawab soalan. Barang kevin kirim untuk Stella pun belum sempat
Nak hantar lagi. Ingat nak pergi petang ni rumah stella kalau sempat. He bought chocolates for his niece & nephews.

I had a fun time there and had no time to write everyday because we had many things to do together and go together with less time.
The weather was not so good but getting better on the last days. Most of the time spent in the apartment while kevin went out to campus & work. I know he tried his best to skip his classes and the part time job and several times he got warning call from his supervisor. Haha. I should go when he is free. When I was alone, I cooked and clean the house and do the laundry. And watched movies together at night with kevin’s petbrother and his friend. After movies 4 of us would go out for supper. They are super fun. Several days like several hours only. Not enough time to cover the loss I feel when he left.

Kevin took me to see his campus and showed me how exciting it could be to study there. Dia nak pujuk saya further study kat sana juga. I tried to show that I am looking forward for it as well but actually I am not really on it. Tapi kesian dia tak sampai hati nak bgtahu.

All went well and he took care of me. No doubt that I trusted him and still trust him until now. He never went over the border. You know what I mean and I really respect him for that. The hardest time was the time to leave. Don’t want to talk about it. I still feel the hole in my heart when I waved good bye to kevin. A huge ball in my throat when I held his hands for the last time and told him that I love him so much and will wait for him to come back. I saw his eyes were red but I did not want to break to tears in front of him.

I did it later in the plane.

And now, again we are thousands mile away from each other. Life is not fair but it still has to go on.

Day 3

Place to fulfill our hunger. There must be some one here most of the time!



Meeting his friends session with pancakes..how cute


And on my birthday, i roller skating with him ..what more can i ask for. Had so much fun and showered with love.






Thanks for all the wishes in FB, twitter, blog and e-mail.
U've made my day =)

Day 2

Is going out for a date to celebrate somethin ;)
Glad that i can celebrate it with him this year.

Day 1

I'm in bed feel so sleepy..just had a short conversation with mama. Earlier today papa called and asked to speak to kevin. I didn't expect that but he just wanted to make sure that i am with kevin and not some one else. So, basically kevin had spoken to papa. Fine.
The conversation was short but i heard that papa asked him to take care of me. And this kevin said 'I promise, uncle' while i was laughing nervously. he sounded cool. as he always want to speak to papa.

But actually i introduced him as my friend. Kevin was not really glad with that but i can't do much as for now. So, itu yang terkeluar dari mulut saya bila bagitahu saya nak datang jalan-jalan di sini jumpa kawan. I don't know if papa got what i meant but seriously i don't care as long as they approved my visit.

We had dinner outside and kevin asked me to go to bed early since i looked tired. super excited meeting him today made me forgot about my back pain and lack of sleep. we had a day for chatting. puas hati dapat cerita-cerita dan tengok kevin masak for myself.

We can't afford to eat out all the time. if you plan to eat out it's between $15 and $30 a meal per person. i'm going to stay here for a week so don't be be so demanding lah kan. we have to save. kevin said that he always buy the cheaper cut and cook whatever he had in the kitchen just to fulfill his stomach everyday. pity nya. i thought studying overseas is like going for holiday. its a no.

Sorry, i didn't have time to read your comments of what should i bring him before i fly but i did bring him something that i had wish to give him loooong time ago. i'll let you know what it is. and he is more than happy to receive it.

I am actually staying in his apartment. But not lah only 2 of us. He has his pet brother staying with him, Steve. And steve asked his friend Julie to come over and accompany me while i am here. kevin has another housemate but he is currently not around.

thanks for the advices to take care of myself hehe..i know what do you mean. i will. promise. i trust him. we had been together for more than 2 years and he never tried to take advantage on me. i still trust him.

The weather is not so kind to me as a visitor here. with the alert of cyclone coming over, my mum is super worried. me too..kind of nervous. but should be fine. doa lah. insyaallah.

i think my eyes are red now.
I'll keep writing if the time permits.

Good night ! ..
=)